Front Foglights

Wanker. Look that up in the dictionary (the one in my head, anyway), and the definition will be thus:

“A wanker is a person typically characterised by their need to have full front foglights activated on their vehicle at all times.”

So, who are they, these wankers of the night (and day, even)? Better not be you. It used to be the idiots who went around with rear foglights on all the time that were considered irritating, but as front foglights became increasingly standard, so the number of wankers on the road rose.

Front foglights are the shit drivers’ Viagra – they may not be much of a driver, but they think the front foglights make them really hard. Eh, they don’t, they make them look like arseholes. While it’s actually against the law to have foglights on except when driving conditions necessitate them (say, surprisingly, when it’s foggy), the Gardai obviously do nothing to stop the growing craze, unlike police in Coventry in the UK, who years ago took to the streets to issue £30 fines to any wankers they happened upon http://www.cwn.org.uk/999/west-midlands-police/2001/01/010118-fog-lights.htm .

Although the Garda press office previously said that members of the force will always enforce traffic laws when they are seen to be violated, that’s clearly a load of arse. If indeed it was the case, half of them should be handing themselves in at their local station for speeding.